It takes three years plus a few days more than it should have, but this launch goes off without incident. We absolutely kill it. The backend systems manage to continue working throughout the day and it takes us most of the 14 hours to work through the ample inventory we have. Somehow, between pre-order day and rescheduled launch day, the system has been fixed to the way it should have been all along. I am stunned as DOPUS responds with the agility, grace and responsiveness of a top tech company site.
I am so pleasantly surprised that I decide to write an e-mail expressing my elation. I decide that it is to be, above all, a very positive e-mail. I will ignore everything that has gone wrong and focus my energies in a more productive, uplifting way.
“To whomever it is I owe such a great debt of gratitude,” I begin with the enumeration of my feats for the day and how surprised I am that transactions have gone through so seamlessly. I conclude with my imploring to forward my e-mail to all of those deserving of its appreciation. I talk about how great a day our store has had and that I am sure someone was put in charge of setting in motion the “magical hamster wheels” responsible for such an incredible day. We all work open to close, but this time it feels like the blink of an eye.
I am proud of how the e-mail turns out. It is so inspiring, I feel its spirit is exactly what is needed to infect a company that has grown so negative. I finish reading the whimsical, positive words and I navigate my mouse to the TO: line and began adding names. First Cock Bombay, then the Bobble Head, then The Weasel and then, why-the-hell-not, The Bulldog. Before I can second-guess my instincts, I press “SEND.” What's the worst that could happen?
The following day, I get an e-mail response from a technical advisor in Atlanta thanking me for taking the time to acknowledge their efforts. Awesome! It seems my email has been forwarded across the nation and has been making its way back in a huge way. In fact, hundreds of e-mails come back to me, thanking me for the thanks. Amazing how that works.
It is such a relief to be a part of such a positive movement. I look around at my coworkers wearing their smiles and I realize how much of our souls have been missing from this place. It has been so long since any of us have felt cause to celebrate. This is, indeed, a momentous occasion. Halfway through the day and those hundred e-mails, I get one from the Weasel. He asks me for my photo. I am informed that I am to be quoted in the CEO’s blog the following month and they want a picture of me for the piece. Everyone is responding to me about the e-mail. Everyone but the Bobble Head and Cock Bombay, that is. There is no response from the house-cleaners who are trying to force me out the door. Why so silent? Since I can't send a selfie into the VP for usage in the CEO's blog, I decide to enlist a little help from another smiling party.
I walk up to Cock Bombay. “Hey, will you take my picture so I can send it to The Weasel?” His head cocks and his face melts.
“Uh...sure. Why?”
“Oh, I guess I’m going to be featured in the CEO’s blog next week and he wants my picture.”
“Oh...um....congratulations, brother!” The words lumber out of his mouth like drunks at closing time, grabbing onto anything they can hold, stumbling passed a newly forced smile. I see the thought process behind his beady eyes and I instantly know what is happening. This is the face of a man who has just put in papers to write me up...to fire me. The lack of response from both he and the Bobble Head to my initial e-mail was my first clue. Those are the only two who would know about the write-up so far. Watching his brain bake over this latest news further confirms my suspicions. And, man-oh-man, is his brain working overtime. If only there were a script he could follow to use in this scenario. If only the Union could intervene on this labor violation of overused synapses. If only Del Taco offered coupons for free help in figuring out this new quandary.
How would he be seen for writing up and firing the hero of the CEO’s blog?
He tells me to get an assistant manager to take the photo and rushes into his office. It is too late. The paperwork is already there.
He tells me to get an assistant manager to take the photo and rushes into his office. It is too late. The paperwork is already there.
