What happens when your priority is to put a network-guzzling phone into the hands of every Angeleno? Shrinkage happens.
From the be-careful-what-you-wish-for files, come this latest unforeseen blunder. In the race to offer the latest smart phone that a network has no business trying to support, the coverage in Los Angeles, and many cities around the nation, has shriveled up like a constricted river in a devastating drought. The water levels have dropped so low that people have forgotten that there was a time their phones would work in parking structures, in every room in their house, in a crowded football stadium.
And this is why the phone companies don't make money. "Wait, what?" you say, "look at my bill!?!?" Oh trust me, they're spending all that money as soon as they can get it. They're all in debt trying to hang on to what subscribers they have while they dump any profits into either the network or advertised lies about the network. The companies are grasping at any claims they can find by any reporting company brave enough to publish findings.
Don't you wonder how it is that EVERY cell phone service provider's network is either the:
a) largest,
b) strongest,
c) fastest,
d) most reliable?
It's because, depending on
a) the week,
b) the markets included in the study,
c) what those words mean,
d) who is getting paid to say it,
they all are.
"Largest" could mean most cities covered. It could also mean most people or most land. But what good is it if the most filled-in coverage map of the country is providing service to tumbleweeds?
"Strongest" could mean any one of the other three. It's a good vague catch-all. "Fastest" could refer to data speeds that could also result in your call ending the fastest when you fall off the mythical 4G network. "Most reliable" is a nice way of saying that you settled for a good, hard-working provider that could never be confused with "sexy."
My Company changes the game plan every month now, depending on what the marketing team can come up with. I swear, if we took a year off of advertising, stopped sponsoring the Football stadiums, EVERY basketball game, music awards and parades, we could put all that money into keeping thousands of people connected to their phone calls.
But the people want those commercials telling them that they're in the right relationship. They love to see their phone company trash the other ones, don't they? They need that confirmation bias.
If these networks are all so great, why are we spending money developing ways to get people off them? Why are we suddenly offering a minicell that connects to your home internet instead of the cell network and creates a mini network in your own house? Oh, better yet, and PLEASE GOD ANSWER ME THIS, why did we send letters to thousands of people saying they could get one of these minicells for FREE??? And how did we not know that they would tell their neighbors, who did NOT get a letter, that they got it for free??? AND WHY AM I IN CHARGE OF ANSWERING THESE WHINEY PEOPLE WHO DID NOT GET A LETTER AND WHO REFUSE TO PAY THE $200 TO GET ONE OF THESE MINICELLS???
If it sounds like I'm shouting, it's because I am. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs...on the inside...while you complain about the service in your home and that your neighbor got a letter and you didn't. I'm screaming inside because it's no use screaming at the Company and it's no use screaming at you (even if you do sounds like a petulant child). You'll never understand as you sit there telling me "it just isn't fair." But really, of all the aforementioned superlatives used in our marketing campaigns, we never made claims to being the fairest.
