Like the DMV and the Airlines, The Phone Company needs only to meet the lowest of expectations to keep customers. Mergers and consolidations of regional companies over the years have resulted in fewer options for the consumer. Of every 100 customers who vow to leave their cell phone provider for another, maybe 2 actually do. Cell phone companies, the DMV and the Airlines don’t need to get out the white gloves for exceptional service. Instead, they are more likely to put on those of the latex variety to test your threshold for pain.
The DMV knows you have to be there; there is no other DMV. The Airlines, caught up in price wars that race to the bottom, know that it’s the same bullshit with another company. Plus, you already picked the flight--you can’t really take your business elsewhere at that point. Or maybe they’re the only company that flies to a specific location. You don’t really pick an airline based on personnel--you base it on price. You sacrifice service the second you “sort by price” on the website. Frequent flyer programs are simply a request for the punisher to whip you where the scars have already formed. Better the evil you know, and all that.
Every year, I hear The Company talk about improving customer experience. They sometimes even create job positions dedicated to the task. Some of the most capable people I’ve met in this company have been hired to enhance your experience at the cell phone store. I've witnessed innovative minds and kind hearts hired to positions such as Retail Experience Liaison and VP of Customer Loyalty. Within months, I've seen executives cut them off at the knees. Funds dry up and Customer Experience programs are closed. Knowing that customers won't leave anymore than citizens will flee a country following election results, executives play the percentages and know that, in this abusive relationship, you’ll just be back for more.
But wait! They DO want to fix it! Believe it or not, there is an award for customer service. There is a piece of hardware that The Company wants more than anything. There is a golden fleece, a holy grail, a piece of acrylic not yet on the shelf! It is the J.D. Powers and Associates Award for Customer Satisfaction. To get it, they must first exceed the cell phone industry’s average rate of customer satisfaction...
...of 61%
...just below that of the DMV.
Because that which gets measured gets micro-managed, The Company has begun to keep track of each sales representative's individual metrics for customer satisfaction. Following every transaction that takes place inside the cell phone store, the customer receives a survey. The surveys used to be calls to the home phone, but since we've spent the last decade convincing everyone they don't need a landline, the survey now goes out in the form of a text message. The survey asks for two things. Firstly, it asks the customer how likely they would be to recommend The Company to their friends and colleagues. This Likelihood to Refer, or LTR, quotient is the first question on the survey. It is asked in a general fashion to assess how the customer feels about The Company. With the second question, the customer is asked how pleased they were with the individual sales representative who assisted them. This Individual Customer Satisfaction, or ICS, score is specifically asked to determine the sales representative’s performance.
These two scores are light years apart. There are times when our store, located in the troubled cell reception area of Los Angeles, Ca, is averaging a 30% LTR while maintaining above 84% ICS. Since you're dying to know--I am personally averaging 97% for my individual scores throughout each year. So 70% of customers are not satisfied with The Company and 3% are not satisfied with me. I maintain, contrary to the opinion of my supervisors, that I have no control over how the customer chooses to rate The Company. Whether they say they are likely to refer The Company to friends and colleagues is out of my control. I have printed up no fewer than 200 surveys over the past year that cite dropped calls, network failure and equipment and rate plan prices as the reason they would not be Likely to Refer the company to others.
I side with logic, and therefore the customer, on this one. In fact, I have a hard time respecting anyone who has our company’s cell service and is willing to recommend the product to their friends. I question their capacity for discernment and their integrity. It’s like taking a bite of something awful and saying “Ew this is gross! Try this!” If my customer takes a survey and scores both me and The Company with perfect scores, I immediately assume they are being nice and want me to keep my shitty job.
