The week goes by and my co-workers put in their time, 14 hours a day at an otherwise empty store. Contrary to the usual business traffic, there are no customers waiting in line to be helped in the week leading up to our eventual launch. There are no names to read from the list. We are (not counting my defiantly adhering to a 40-hour week) fully-staffed from open to close and don't have a single A-phone to sell. No one even bothers coming in to ask questions because they know the other stores will have the phones first and they can't trust The Phone Company to ever get the phones in stock.
The day after I leave early, someone complains to the Union and they show up to picket the store. It is a sorry display of four overweight, cubicle dwellers circling an imaginary point. Really, there is no point. More importantly to me, it is the last thing I want. After my stand against Cock Bombay about the rules of the schedule, he and the Bobble Head can now assume that I have also called the Union to complain. Someone else must have alerted the Union while continuing to show up for their 14 hour shift, but it sure looks like my lips were all over that whistle. Again, the Union does more to keep me away from work as their feeble protest leaves me in an awkward position. Now I’ll have to swing this thing around to save my job again--before I lose it for the last time.
“Bro, the heat is on,” Brooklyn grumbles. “The heat is really on now.”
“Yeah, this is a mess.” I pretend to re-organize an accessory shelf. "I'd rather leave on my own terms."
Brooklyn begins whispering as he sees Cock Bombay breeze by with his phone to his ear. “They already had it out to replace our whole store as it was. Now it’s even worse with that stupid Union showing up. Now, cleaning house will be priority number one following this launch.”
It's true, Bobble Head’s boss's boss, the Bulldog, is top in the West, no doubt eyeing a National promotion. Stories like our mini revolt should not be distracting him from his third attempt at the same launch. He should be focused on matters more crucial to the stockholders, customers, fellow executives and technology world. A four person picket line may not make headline news, but it gets to his desk. The call goes out and Miguel overhears The Bulldog screaming at Cock Bombay and Bobble Head in the office.
"What the FUCK is going on down there? A PICKET LINE?"
Well, when you say it that way, it does sound serious.
"It's only four people and it's ridiculous." Bobble Head chimes in so that Cock Bombay can't be given the opportunity to fail an attempted excuse. Besides, there's plenty of time to throw him under the bus later.
"I don't care how ridiculous you think it looks. Clean it up. We're already in the news for botching this launch, we can't have a labor protest on top of that. Not this week. I'm coming down for this launch. Clean it up!"
Bobble Head swallows, "We've got it figured out. They'll be gone today and we'll have the problem solved."
It's true, Bobble Head’s boss's boss, the Bulldog, is top in the West, no doubt eyeing a National promotion. Stories like our mini revolt should not be distracting him from his third attempt at the same launch. He should be focused on matters more crucial to the stockholders, customers, fellow executives and technology world. A four person picket line may not make headline news, but it gets to his desk. The call goes out and Miguel overhears The Bulldog screaming at Cock Bombay and Bobble Head in the office.
"What the FUCK is going on down there? A PICKET LINE?"
Well, when you say it that way, it does sound serious.
"It's only four people and it's ridiculous." Bobble Head chimes in so that Cock Bombay can't be given the opportunity to fail an attempted excuse. Besides, there's plenty of time to throw him under the bus later.
"I don't care how ridiculous you think it looks. Clean it up. We're already in the news for botching this launch, we can't have a labor protest on top of that. Not this week. I'm coming down for this launch. Clean it up!"
Bobble Head swallows, "We've got it figured out. They'll be gone today and we'll have the problem solved."
When I hear this, I know who the problem is. I am officially the perfect uppity scapegoat for Cock and Bobble to use as an example for getting things under control. It seems there is no going over their heads to get to someone who will understand.
The Union staffers appear to get tired, or hungry, and call off the circular death march at around noon. Having done more harm than good, the group disperses to (probably) find a Chipotle. Cock Bombay laughs into his phone as he finishes another cigarette and phone call. In his mind, he has won. He has put down the uprising. He puffs his chest and swings the door wide as he reenters the store. Smiling, he looks over at me and nods before a triumphant return to his office.
The Union staffers appear to get tired, or hungry, and call off the circular death march at around noon. Having done more harm than good, the group disperses to (probably) find a Chipotle. Cock Bombay laughs into his phone as he finishes another cigarette and phone call. In his mind, he has won. He has put down the uprising. He puffs his chest and swings the door wide as he reenters the store. Smiling, he looks over at me and nods before a triumphant return to his office.
Finally, the 29th comes around and we get our A-phones. We are ready to open early, we have a line out the door and all the Executives are present. Cock Bombay is in a full suit, Bobble Head is looking nicely tailored and The Bulldog is shifting his gaze around the store with a couple of other henchmen looking to be acknowledged. The Bobble Head is also wearing his usual shit-eating grin as he walks up to everyone to give his pep talk. He approaches me directly.
"Hey, Jase! How's it going?"
"Oh, it's great. Glad we finally get to sell some of these phones!"
"That's the spirit."
The breath behind his words oozes "I can't wait to kick your ass out of this store" while his smile lies to my face. Then he turns to gather everyone into a circle while auditioning for his next role.
I slip on the Large t-shirt that I have been handed and take note of the interesting design choices. On the front is an odd rainbow-looking...hamburger? that might be trying to look like a...globe? On the back are two words that an overpaid marketing team has finally settles upon as the Company's latest slogan: Redefine Success.
"Hey, Jase! How's it going?"
"Oh, it's great. Glad we finally get to sell some of these phones!"
"That's the spirit."
The breath behind his words oozes "I can't wait to kick your ass out of this store" while his smile lies to my face. Then he turns to gather everyone into a circle while auditioning for his next role.
“Now let’s be prepared people! Let’s have our manual orders on stand by. Let’s have our physical credit card imprint machines ready to go. We already know that DOPUS is going to go down. Let’s not be caught off guard.”
Well, that's encouraging. It is definitely the most earnest thing I’ve ever heard him say. We take our stations and get ready for the doors to open. I joke around with all of the suits to gauge their responses and see how many of them know I won't be employed next week. I can't exactly tell if their nervousness stems from faking it with me or a genuine concern about how this launch is going to go. I let them off the hook and log in to my computer. I slip on the Large t-shirt that I have been handed and take note of the interesting design choices. On the front is an odd rainbow-looking...hamburger? that might be trying to look like a...globe? On the back are two words that an overpaid marketing team has finally settles upon as the Company's latest slogan: Redefine Success.
