The A-phone is the result of two massive companies, one in telecommunications, the other in computers, coming together to create a monster. Billed as Savior, decried as Destroyer, part Bacchus, part Buddha--it's a phone with a gods complex. It has its worshipers, its non-believers, devotees and detractors. So polarizing a device, you can’t log on to the internet without seeing an opinion on it or an accessory for it. It advertises for itself, for better or for worse.
We have sold three different versions of this phone and are now anxiously awaiting the fourth. Of the first three versions, I swear we sold half of them to Los Angeles. Our clientele, gluttonous for punishment, are the first in line every year no matter what it costs to buy this phone. And even though they don't admit it, they all know it isn't really a phone at all.
The fact is, the A-phone, like all cell phones, is a computer that wirelessly transmits data. Sometimes that data will be in the form of a phone call. Sometimes that phone call will go through. In early generations, using the A-phone for phone calls was like using your toaster to make popcorn; it might work, but there’s got to be a better way.
The first trick The Company pulled off in selling this device was convincing the public that this A-phone is, well, A PHONE. The evidence of marketing genius was the fact that these two companies got together and actually named this thing and put "phone" in the title. They could have called it something sleek like The Stingray. They could have named it something powerful like The Bomber. They could have named it something revolutionary like The Beatles. In calling it a phone, the companies get people to buy it. They can get individuals to sign up for two year contracts (service not guaranteed to work in all places) and get the phone at a subsidized price. You don’t do that with a computer. You buy the whole computer.
This misnomer is extended beyond the reach of the A-phone to every cell phone I’ve sold over the course of my career here. All cell phones are treated like phones when, in fact, they should be treated like computers. Every mobile phone we sell has the ability to store thousands of contacts, organize appointments, connect to the internet and communicate wirelessly through Bluetooth. Still, and this never ceases to amaze me, when people break their phones, spill coffee on them, lose them, leave them on top of their cars or at a bar, they are SHOCKED to discover that the replacement costs 300% more than what they paid a couple of month ago! Of course, the ‘phone’ that they bought last time was in exchange for a 2 year agreement. The Company, and I will rarely defend them, actually takes a loss on the equipment at that point. Obviously they intend to make it back over the course of selling the customer sporadic service for the next two years.
It’s only when something drastic happens to one’s phone that one is forced to discover the true value of it. Why else would you be so upset? You know it’s worth hundreds. I can see it in the pain on your face. You look like you just lost hundreds of dollars and thousands of friends.
It’s only when something drastic happens to one’s phone that one is forced to discover the true value of it. Why else would you be so upset? You know it’s worth hundreds. I can see it in the pain on your face. You look like you just lost hundreds of dollars and thousands of friends.
If the people would start treating these things like they treat computers, the people would be better served. The company can’t afford to label them as such, because mentally, the average consumer can only justify buying a computer every 5-6 years. If we called them what we should, we couldn’t sell them as often as we would like. So we call them phones. And because we call them phones, you’re in line for a new one every year.
The A-phone itself is innocent. It's trapped between a company selling a computer and a customer buying a phone. Its devotees and dealers are the lunatics. How else would you explain that the person who comes into my store to complain every other month about their service issues is the same person to be first in line at 3am on launch day? And by the way, when you do come into the store to complain, don’t think it’s the first time I’ve heard it called “The-Anything-But-A-Phone.” When people curse the A-phone, they are actually cursing their inability to quit it. They shake their fists at the gods, and should be blaming their own misguided devotion. Time and again I see people projecting their ineptitude and addiction onto a (usually) inanimate device. With the A-phone, I’ve seen the cycle repeat year after year.
