Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Not remotely...but sometimes, remotely.

I'm walking the floor of the Mandalay Bay Casino in Las Vegas when my phone rings.  I recognize the number and pick up within two vibrations.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jason!  It's Cory.  I tried e-mailing you first but I didn't get a response."
"Oh yeah? I didn't get the e-mail.  When did you send it?"
"Five minutes ago."
"Ahhh...yeah, I'm not working right now and I don't get work e-mail on my phone.  What's up?"
"Something wrong with Jay's phone.  The internet doesn't work. I tried the usual tricks"
"Did he just change phones recently?" I troubleshoot.
"Usually that would be the case, but I actually think he's had the same one for a few weeks now."
"Is he traveling internationally?" I continue.
"He was.  He got back and I called in to take him off the international plan and put him on the regular plan."
"Okay, give me five minutes and I'll call you back."

I call into the store where I can get some actual help.
A greeter answers the phone and I let her know that it's me right away.  This relieves her of the obligation she feels to let me know about the gift cards, family finder feature and internet solutions we are offering for either your personal line or small business.  I cut to the chase.
"Who there has access to Tellect?  Is Brooklyn in?"  I know he isn't, it's Sunday.
"No..." I can hear her voice search around the store as she tries to remember the names of her new coworkers.
"Okay, fine.  Who's managing."
"Umm...it's ummm...Cock Bombay?"
"Uggh.  Okay, put him on."

I'm not asking for a favor for me.  I'm asking for a favor for a customer who already tried customer service and didn't get the appropriate action.  But Cock Bombay would love to do me a favor if it meant he could remind me of it down the line.

"Brother!!"  I can hear his smile beaming above the clanging slot machines around me.  "What's the honor to do me this time???"
"Hey, I need some help on the backend in Tellect for a customer.  Here's the number..."
"Hey, hey....you're not working today, brother!" 

Cock Bombay knows that when I'm not working, I'm not working.  There are very few calls I take from my house, let alone a casino floor.  When he calls me on the weekend to ask me to come in, my Company-paid phone line is as off-the-clock as I am.  However, when Jay-Z's assistant calls with a problem, I answer like it's a job offer.  And no, this is not because I view it as a means to accelerate my own rap career.  It's because Cory has always been cool to me.  I wouldn't answer the phone if he weren't.  So it's not a double standard.  It's just a standard.

"Can you check to see if, under the 'features' tab of the account, there's a SOC code that reads DATX?"
"Yes, brother, it's there."
"Can you remove it, please?"
"I can move it.  Do you have last four of the social?"
"It's not a social, it's a tax ID and it's 8068."
"Very good.  Okaaaaaayyyy."  I hear him labor to remember how to use the old system.  "All done."
"And hit 'save' and then 'refresh' for me, please."  Tellect is a fickle system.
"Okaaaaaaayyyy.  All set.  Anything else?  Who's the Shawn Carter Enterprise?"
"It's nothing.  Thanks."

I hang up and call Cory back, one or two minutes after I told him I would.
"He'll need to restart the phone and it should start working,"  I inform him.
"Dude," he responds with a laugh, "why was I on the phone with International Customer Care for an hour earlier??"
"Because you're lonely and have no better use for your time?"
"Haha....right.  You're the best, bro.  Next time you're in New York during a show, let me know."
"How 'bout I call you when Jay's in LA."
"Fair enough."

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