Friday, November 1, 2013

Failure to Launch (Part 2)

Because of the pending launch day, we are informed that a new schedule will be put out, forcing allowing us to work the 14 hours from 8am to 10pm.  Per union rules, the schedule is supposed to be put out one week in advance, but can be altered as soon as 48 hours in advance to accommodate unforeseen occurrences.  If a schedule is not posted one week in advance, we are to follow the previous week’s posted schedule.  4 days prior to the new week, Cock Bombay still doesn’t have the schedule ready. I haven’t decided which I am going to do yet, given that it is completely within my rights to follow the previous week’s non-grueling overtime schedule, but I figure I’ll probably come in and work the extra hours--it’s not often we get the option.  The schedule finally comes out on the 17th for the week starting on the 20th.  Clearly not the week’s notice we should have been given.
Beyond that, and most absurd, we are all scheduled to work open to close with nothing to do, up until launch on the 25th.  

Brooklyn pulls Cock Bombay aside.
“Hey, Mr. Bombay, I noticed that this schedule has us working all-day, every-day even before the actually launch.”
“Yep, that’s right.”  He knows when he’s being challenged. “I gave you 48 hours notice and staffing is based on needs of the business.”
“But, sir.”  Brooklyn closes his eyes in mini-meditation and slowly motions a palm-down, calm-down with his hands.  The gesture is no doubt for his own good.  “We won’t even have any customers coming in until the 25th.” 
“We are going by the needs of the business.”
“There won’t be any business needs until we get that phone in stock.”  He momentarily forgets before adding, “sir.”
“The schedule is out, the whole market is doing it.  You should be thankful!  Can you imagine what other company offers overtime in a recession?”

That last line I had already overheard on the conference call earlier that day.  Who knows who started it, but it came from the Bobble Head when I heard it uttered through the speaker phone that morning.  Again, a reference to how utterly ungrateful we must be as sales reps.  Also, a defense of a wasteful allocation of resources by The Company.
I work my 14 hours on Monday the 21st, at least 12 of which are spent on my feet.  I am exhausted. I was used to 7.5 hours on my feet, the extra few make a noticeable difference.  My back hurts, my feet hurt.  I am now painfully aware that I  haven’t purchased new work/dress shoes in over three years.  
Most of us are pretty excited about the overtime, don’t get me wrong.  The Company usually makes such a stink over such things.  Tightening the purse strings each year has eventually come down to auditing our time cards.  Two things would stand out glaringly: Unapproved overtime and Untaken Meal Breaks.

Untaken Meal Breaks, or UMBs, are “huge penalties” that the Company is forced to pay its employees if it neglects to give them a lunch break for every five(5) hours worked.  If you work 5 hours without clocking out for lunch, you will see an extra hour of paid time show up on your time card.  Some people were probably taking advantage of this anyway, so the loophole had to be closed.  It was so important that no one show up on that report that I had begun doing my employer the favor of clocking out for lunch before hour 5, continuing with my customer until the transaction was complete, and then clocking back in before actually eating my lunch.  It was easier to work for 6 hours straight than it was to explain why to a guy like Cock Bombay.  
So we are working overtime.  We are diligent in taking two meal breaks throughout the day and we are ready to turn around and come back first thing the next morning.  The whole week is Phone Company week.  No excuses, no exceptions.  

Tuesday morning is more of then same.  No traffic coming to the store but for the random calls and walk-ins begging us to put the phones on hold for them.  Otherwise, we are cleaning the shelves, vacuuming the floors, getting ready for the launch day that usually brings the Executives with it.  
Being the flagship store, you have to prepare for the visits of those who preside over you and the other hundreds of stores in the West.  They might come, they might not.  If you’re Cock Bombay, you must assume they will and encourage your employees to “double make sure to team-tag on all the metrics.”  I'm still not sure what that means.
We “double make sure” that all the accessories are stocked(ready to gouge the first customer who grabs them) and that every acrylic display is dusted.  Friday is just around the corner and we are looking pretty well-stocked on everything except the phones.  Of course, those never show up more than a day in advance so this is no surprise.  They will arrive in two days and be under 24-hour surveillance over night.  

It’s strange how you find news sometimes.  I notice first that Cock Bombay is speaking nervously into his cell phone while chain-smoking out front.  We are all inside redoubling our make-sures and at the same moment Miguel points to a website and suddenly we all go to the same Tech Page blog and see it right there at the top, in embarrassingly large font, that we would not be getting the phones by the 25th:


“Phone Company Delays Retail Sales of A-phone 4”

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