Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Failure to Launch (Part 3)

“Phone Company Delays Retail Sales of A-phone 4”

Due to underestimating the success of what quickly became the most productive pre-order day in Company history...I stop reading.  We are not launching on the 25th.  The Computer store will be launching on the 25th.  They would start selling online on the 25th.  The Biggest Deal mega-chain and Frequency Hut will be selling the A-phone 4 on the 25th.  We, THE PHONE COMPANY, will begin offering the A-phone 4 to customers online and at our retail locations beginning on the 29th of the month--giving everyone 96 hours to buy their’s from anyone but us.
A thousand times good grief!
I've grown somewhat accustomed to the Company letting me down and I have grown beyond surprise.  But this one hurts.  The Company, with its network-improvements-are-in-the-works-and-we’re-aware-of-the-problem-but-it’s-getting-better schtick has been going on for three years. This time, I am the liar.  This time, my integrity suffers.  I feel violated.  It was a shot to the gut.
I go outside to find Bombay still smoking. “What are we going to do about the hundreds of customers we told to show up first thing on the 25th? We’ve been saying this for over a week but now the story changes two days out?”
He takes a puff as he tries calming me down while making a swooping nod with his neck, preparing to regurgitate.  Exhaling smoke, “customer will read news.  They will know.”
I don’t know which is the more alarming subtext of that statement--that he honestly believes that everyone we told would “hear the news” or that he believes it because he admits that the Company failed on such a colossal level that it actually will be universal news.  
Oh yeah, the word is out about how big a fuck-up this is.  Don’t worry about trying to find the people you misinformed.
“I’m going home,” I informed him. “I feel sick.”
“I can’t stop you if you want to go home, but you will suffer the penalty as outlined in the attendance policy.”
“Okay, I’m going home about 30 minutes early, so that should be about a 1/4 of a point, right?”
“Full point.”
“Why’s that?”
“You are scheduled for another 4 hours.  Until the closing.”
“Oh, I just figured that since this week’s schedule wasn’t posted a week in advance, we were supposed to go by last week’s schedule.”
“Oh really!?” he affects a venomous fake laughter and stomps out his cigarette. “We are gonna talk about the Article 12 now?”
“Well, that is what it says.”
“You want to go, go.”
“How many points am I getting?”
“Schedule was out 48 hours in advance.  You get a full point.”
“The schedule can be changed 48 hours in advance.  It can’t be changed if it’s NEVER OUT.  It needs to be out a week in advance first.  Then you can change it based on unforeseen needs of the business.  And from the looks of it, we won’t be needing anyone for business anytime soon!”
We’re both mad.
“Why would I put out the schedule if I know it is going to change? Make sense? It’s stupid to put out a schedule you know is going to change.”
“That doesn’t change the way the rules are written.  You still need to furnish us with a schedule that gives us a full week’s notice.  After that, if you need to change it based on unforeseen business needs, you can do so.”
He tried this. “You knew A-phone launch was coming, you should know that there would be overtime scheduled.”
“Exactly.” I responded, feeling the anger in my neck rising to my face.  I spell it out for him.  “You can change a schedule--THAT IS POSTED--48 hours in advance due to ‘unforeseen business needs’.  A launch that we ‘knew was coming’ over a month ago is not exactly ‘unforeseen.’
“You want to go, go!”
Gone.

I stick to my guns and follow the previous week’s schedule which, fortuitously, has me off on Saturday.  Management is well aware of what I am doing.  I’m following the rules (granted, as they benefit me)...and clearly painting a larger target on my back.

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